It is the resistance to "change" that brings on the stress/strife. Acceptance of the change calls upon the strength to endure the necessary adaptations and adjustments.

I was approached by a man a weekend or so ago. He proceeded to start a conversation with me which ultimately led to him asking me out. My response was "you never even inquired if I was in a relationship or seeing someone". He said "oh, well are you in a relationship?" I said, "yes I am (I'm in a relationship with myself).

Now I wasn't trying to blow him off, even though I had no interest whatsoever. But my answer was the truth and it was intentional. I am in a relationship with myself, which hasn't always been the case. I'm getting to know me all over again. I'm becoming my biggest fan, my own best friend. Like most people who are single, I have a list of 'most desired qualities' and 'deal breakers'; but I cannot ask of someone what I am not able to give to myself. So in this relationship, I will be honest with myself, respect myself, be affectionate with myself, forgive myself, spend quality time with myself, be kind and gentle with myself, and enjoy my own company. I will laugh at myself, treat myself, and encourage myself.


The most important relationship you will ever have in this life is the one with YOURSELF.
(Live Well -Take the time to get know the real You)

Problem? What Problem? (Day 19)

I've seen times when I've mentally magnified a problem so much til it overtook my mind and emotions to the point of confusion and distress. And the sad thing about it is that it didn't bring me any closer to a solution. I wonder if I magnified my daily blessings in the same manner, if I would be overtaken with joy and gratefulness. Just wondering :)





"In the end, it will be OK. If its not OK, its not the end"



(Live Well -Where is your Attention?)

Day 33

The last couple of days have included "so called" bad news, an embarrassing situation that, thank God, wasn't exposed, and a minor body ailment. BUT today is a new day. One that I have never lived before. I'm gonna do my best to enjoy each and every moment. Hope you will too :)



(Live Well -Yesterday is gone)

40 days to 40 (Day 36)

Today I am thankful for my family. Somewhere in the past 39 years, I've learned that there's no such thing as "the perfect family". Its usually in the "family" that we're faced with our greatest challenges. And just as our family can be the source of love and support, it can also be the source of hurts and disappointments.But you know what? As my sister constantly reminds me, "at the end of the day, we're still family".

40 days to 40 (Day 38)

I am so thankful for "Hot Showers"! Can you say therapeutic?? It may sound simple, but there is something "heavenly" about the hot water/body connection . I believe showers should be purposeful and not something we do because we have to. For some, its just to get clean; but what about to think,experience "me time",to refresh/re-group or to wash away the cares of the day?

I showered "on purpose" this evening. I allowed the water to heal and relax me. As I was totally focused, I did not allow my mind to go anywhere else. I stayed in present, and thanked God for the wonderful gift of hot water and massage shower heads :) The end result? A relaxed body and a clear mind. I don't take this simple pleasure for granted anymore. Its worked miracles for me. Its just ONE of the gifts of relaxation that works for me.

So what works for you? I may just try that too :)


(Live Well -Relax, Relate, Release)

40 days to 40 (Day 39)

As I sat in Church today,I looked at my parents, and was grateful that I still have them both in my life. As they're getting older (in number), I'm appreciating them more. Parenting isn't easy and its not something you stop doing once your children are a certain age. As hard as you try to steer and guide, sometimes you're "on it", other times, you "miss it", but when its all said and done, all you know is that you love your children. Our parents are people who did the best they could with what they knew. I sometimes "wish" that I could build them their dream home, and maybe put nice "nest" in their bank account, take away their worries and cares, protect them...you know....all the things they desire for me as their child :)



(Live Well -Thank God for Parents!)

So the Countdown begins (Day 40)

Of course, as soon as you make up your mind to do something, every opportunity comes your way to "give you practice". So has the day given me many opportunities give thanks "in spite of".

My daughter had a taste for some potatoes for dinner (special recipe of course), so the plan was to enjoy a steak and potatoes dinner. I hadn't used the grill all summer, so I thought this would be the perfect time.

Well, opportunity #1 came when I got to the check out at the grocery store and realized I had forgotten several coupons for a couple of items I bought. I went into a "I can't believe I did this" mode. But changed my mind and decided that I would be thankful that at least I would get another opportunity to use the coupons before the expiration date.

Opportunity #2- My great nephew "wet" himself and my sofa as he was taking nap today. Now I was a little disappointed with this one, but did not get too emotional. "What can I be thankful for in this?", I thought. Well, first I was thankful that it didn't go beyond the outside layer, and I was thankful that my washer and dryer was working properly so I was able to wash it immediately.

Opportunity #3 - I asked my daughter to keep an eye on the potatoes while I made a quick run. I called her while I was out to tell her to turn them off. She beat me to it, but I failed to tell her to remove it from the burner. So when I could smell them outside the door before I walked in the house, I knew they had burned. I did not want to make another trip to the grocery store and didn't know was would be the replacement, but thankfully I was able to recover some and have enough for the meal (even though they didn't eat any...more for me :).

Opportunity #4 -As soon as I lit the grill to cook the steaks, it started to rain. I was determined to have grilled steaks, so I had to cook steaks while it was raining. I was thankful that it was only sprinkling and wasn't a downpour.

Now as anxious and bothered as I could have gotten over everything that occurred today, as my daughter's began to eat, I thought about the homeless women Kyra had pointed out earlier in the day and a comment she had made (it was definitely a teachable moment about being thankful). They both said "Mommy this is good". I smiled and was grateful.

39 more days to go. Practice makes perfect, right?

40 days to 40

Today begins the countdown to a milestone in my life. I'm turning 40! Turning 40 for a lot of people is not big deal. To others, its a big deal. To me? I'm still figuring it out, but regardless, in 40 days, its going to happen. I think I started reflecting about a year ago and one word just kept popping up..."wow". As if I got here so fast. Its definitely a season of reflection. I'm starting to relive and experience things in my past that I never stopped to experience because I was constantly in the"future". There was a need to constantly stay on top of things and be ready for tomorrow, tonight, later on and what was taking place next. There were very few "present moments". A message my father ministered once came back to my memory that reflected on a fact that a person's stress was mainly the result of either dwelling in the past or the future. And there's the scripture in Matthew about "...not giving thought for tomorrow.."


So, I've made the decision to embrace it, acknowledge it, celebrate it and be "thankful". For the next 40 days, I intend to find things in my life that I'm thankful for . This, of course includes people and experiences that have contributed to this milestone and who I have become. I'll be writing "thank you letters" to people, and blogging about specific things that have occurred during the day that cause me to be thankful. I'm slowing down people.I'm learning to appreciate the "simplicity" of life and the blessings therein. I have plenty of things I could complain about (and often do), yet I have even more that I can be grateful for. So, when making a choice of where to exert my energy, especially the next 40 days, I believe it will be more to my benefit to be grateful. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies (The Five Heartbeats)...."We shall see! " :)





(Live Well -Give Thanks!)

Why is it so hard to be honest with ourselves?



I had a friend who was at a crossroads in his life; the same crossroads he had been at several times before. He was somewhat disappointed at himself for being here yet again and really disliked the feeling of being "stuck". He felt as if his life wasn't moving in the direction that he wanted. Well, there were some other issues within that issue, but to make a long story short, I asked him on a scale of 1 - 10, how ready was he to change. There was silence for about 10 seconds (first sign that maybe he wasn't as ready as he thought). Then he actually gave himself a "9". Well, I don't think a "9" would have paused after the question. There is a difference in "being" in a place and "wanting to be" in a place. It all starts with being honest with yourself about where you really are, who you really are and what you really are. Then we can talk about change.





You must begin where you are. -Jack Boland
(Live Well - Get Real)

Ok God, Where Are You?

Right here. Within and Without. In your problems. In your solutions. In your mind. In your heart. In your disappointments. In your decisions. In your indecisiveness. In your fears. In your peace. Where ever you are, that's where I AM. Because I AM in you. I AM a part of you. But I will only have as much say in your life as you would allow. Your wish is always my command. Want me in the backseat? Your wish is my command. Want Me in the front seat? Your wish is my command. Want Me in the driver's seat. Your wish is my command; but just know that with you driving or me driving, the destination will not change, but the journey will....

...if then God so clothe the grass, which is today in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven;how much more will He clothe you, O ye of little faith? Seek not what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of a doubtful mind. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God...happiness, peace and joy :)

Fear not little flock; for it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom
-Luke 12:32
(Live Well -Go Within)

simply "Trust"

Ever find yourself "Out There" (mind racing, worrying, anxiety)? How do you bring yourself back in? I'll tell you what works for me. Its not a V8 or a Calgon bath; but its a simple word that I say to my 'self'.....TRUST. Its amazing how a simple word can bring about immediate peace for me.

Its a reminder to me that the same way that I automatically trust the creator to awaken me in the morning, provide me with continuous air to breathe, enable my organs to work properly, allow my heart to continue to pump blood, (must I go on?)etc., that I can also extend that "trust" to any area of my life that doesn't seem to be working. Its an awareness that transcends the temporal. I will trust that all my needs will be met.


All you ever need do is ask and trust -Iyanla Vanzant
(Live Well -Trust)

Get in the Boat

"You can be anything you want to be", "You can do anything you want to do". Its the message we've always heard and the message that we continue instill in our young. So why is it so many people are still struggling to be and do?

I heard a well known radio announcer say something that registered at a deeper part of my being. It was predestined that I was in my car at that particular time just so I could hear that statement before he left the airways. He said " ..Become Passionate About Your Gift". Now stop and think about it for a minute. Even though I've always encouraged people (mostly youth) to discover what their natural gifts and talents are, this was also a reminder that even adults are still trying to decide what they want to be when they grow up. We often go after dreams that look appealing to us or we see another excelling in their gift and we adopt it as our own.

Jill and Jane both aspire to become runway models. Both invest time, energy and money into their efforts. Jill becomes a success while Jane works just as hard but can't seem to make the cut. The difference? It comes natural to Jill. Everyone can see that this is what she was born to do. Every one was born with some gift or talent to share with the world. Something you can do a little bit better and easier than the average person. Don't neglect it. Develop a passion for that and success will naturally follow. And that's success according to your own definition.

I'm becoming passionate about my gift, which has become my dream and my life's work. I'm taking small steps every day. And as fearful as it may be sometimes, a friend constantly tells me that "I have to get in the boat, before I can get out of the boat". I'm looking forward to walking on water one day :)

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. -Bill Cosby
(Live Well -Rediscover Your Natural Gifts)

Its Complicated

Only until you get to know me intimately will you ever know what I "really" think.

I wrote that thought after hearing yet another "SHE THINK SHES...." statements. I may think "this" about myself or "that" about myself, but you will never really know until you've made an effort to understand me. Its a lot easier to judge a book by its cover, but it takes effort to open and read the pages on the inside.

I was asked by an individual if I was "complicated". Wow, I never really thought about it. It would have been nice to immediately say no, but I couldn't. I am a result of old beliefs, new beliefs, past experiences and new experiences. The opposite of complicated is simple. Who in this world is simple? I've decided that it's OK to be 'simply complicated'.

To understand another human being you must gain some insight into the conditions which made him what he is. -Margaret Bourke-White
(Live Well -Seek Understanding)